


April's Fool

by distantstarlight, Dragonlitterchanger



Series: April Fools - The Joke Is On You [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: April Fools' Day, Gen, Humor, I Don't Even Know, Johnlock - Freeform, Not Serious, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-30
Updated: 2014-04-30
Packaged: 2018-01-21 08:09:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1543757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/distantstarlight/pseuds/distantstarlight, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragonlitterchanger/pseuds/Dragonlitterchanger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the month of April and Sherlock has a new hobby and already he's gone too far.</p>
            </blockquote>





	April's Fool

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [April's Fool 四月愚者](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3275630) by [Ivylui](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ivylui/pseuds/Ivylui)



> So I saw this joke that was posted and someone said it should be fic'd. I had a bit of a think about it and dashed it off.

 

John and Greg stood at the end of the alley and watched Sherlock shouting at Anderson again. Both men just chuckled as the familiar ebb and flow of the crime scene played out. They were drinking coffee and chatting to fill in the bits of time until they were needed. John was telling Greg about Sherlock’s new obsession, Doctor Who. “He wants a TARDIS of his own, I’m telling you. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was trying to figure out how to build one with his wardrobe. I’m getting him a Sonic Screwdriver toy for Christmas.”

“I never would have thought that Sherlock would want to watch something as imaginative as Doctor Who.” Greg tipped back the last of his coffee appreciatively. John went on about Sherlock’s favorite characters and the villains he found most disquieting. Greg listened with a smile. He was about to comment when he saw Donovan make that face she made right before she snapped. “On the job!” he was off with a quick step to intervene.

A few days later at yet another crime scene John and Greg were now watching Sherlock shouting at a rookie for stepping on crucial evidence. Sherlock was now forcing the poor lad to remove his own shoe and put it in an evidence bag while Sherlock huffed and snipped at him. Greg shook his head. Sherlock took special joy in tormenting new team members. Just once Lestrade wished something would happen to the detective to show him up, just a little. Give him a taste of what it was like to be just a regular person.

“You know he won’t go to the churchyard anymore. He doesn’t like some of the headstones. They give him the creeps something fierce.” Greg hadn’t been paying full attention to John because of what was happening to the rookie but now he focused on the doctor’s fond sounding voice. “We were going to see an exhibit for Christmas too but he cancelled because it was a display of angel statues.”

Greg laughed heartily. He couldn’t imagine developing a real fear because of something he’d seen on admittedly good TV programs. Still Sherlock was incredibly intelligent, very imaginative and he never forgot anything. There had to be something in that great big head of his that caused him to feel fear. Sherlock was good at playing emotionless but Greg had known him long enough to have personally witnessed actual feelings being displayed.

On John’s recommendation Greg began watching a series of American programs enjoyed at 221 B Baker Street. He particularly liked Supernatural. He liked the idea of taking down bad-guys that seemed impossible to stop. The show was a bit creepy but only mildly disturbing though some of the episodes made Greg’s insides go cold.

Sherlock was a prick. He had learned about April Fool’s day but apparently had stopped listening when John tried to tell him it was one day and not the entire month. Sherlock had been pranking everyone for weeks now. Usually they were childish jokes, like joy buzzers and itching powder that Sherlock had made himself and had kept Anderson scratching for three days. One day after a particularly harrowing chase through some nasty crack-houses a weary Greg had gone back to his office to tackle some paperwork. Opening the door he nearly had a heart attack when he saw Sherlock suspended from the ceiling surrounded by paper flames. “JESUS FUCKING CHRIST SHERLOCK!”

Greg staggered back and slammed the door shut. That particular episode had troubled Greg a lot. He remembered telling John who clearly had then told Sherlock! He could hear Sherlock’s manic laughter from inside the office and a small thump. When Lestrade pushed the door open Sherlock was sitting on the edge of his desk and taking notes. “I should have brought something to measure the range of your shriek Lestrade. I’ll make a note of it.” Greg stared at the mad-scientist who was actually making a note.

“You little shit! Why would you do that?” Sherlock snapped his notebook shut and stood up to look disdainfully down at the DI.

“Science.” The tall man stated and left the office with a flourish of his big coat. Greg stewed. The ceiling still had paper flames stuck to it but Greg wasn’t tall enough to tug them down so he left them there. Sherlock had it coming now! Flipping through his ancient rolodex Greg searched out a number and made a call. Fifteen minutes later he was chuckling merrily once more and slogging patiently through his never-ending stack of paperwork.

Two days later Greg called John and Sherlock back on another case. The detective zipped back and forth shouting out deductions and insults in equal measure. His eyes traced back and forth curiously and he seemed confused. Something wasn’t adding up. Greg pulled out his mobile and hit ‘record’ just as Sherlock gave a curious tug on a small rope tied to the wall. A curtain fell and standing not two feet in front of Sherlock was the statue of a winged angel with graceful fingers curled over its coldly beautiful face.

Sherlock’s screech hit the upper decibels. John actually collapsed weakly on the floor from laughing and Greg almost dropped his mobile. The light was bad so the video was awful but the SOUND was excellent. A careful bit of pruning was all it took and the next day Greg swanned around. He made sure to stand right next to Sherlock when his phone notified him of an arriving text. The sound of Sherlock’s high-pitched scream filled the room. While Sherlock tried to wrestle the phone away from Greg John collapsed on the floor again, this time holding his stomach as he laughed and laughed. “I demand that you remove that!” shouted Sherlock angrily.

“Not a chance! This is the least you deserve. I’m going to keep this on for at least a month and I’m going to tell every single person who asks that it’s you doing the screaming. I’m keeping the video too. It’s grainy but it’s still clearly you!” Sherlock actually snarled at Greg and attempted to wrestle the mobile away once more while Greg laughed and managed to just barely keep it out of reach.

“This is revenge then?” snapped Sherlock who finally gave up. He was standing there with his fists clenched tight and a pout planted firmly on his face. He looked like a gigantic five year old.

“No shit Sherlock. Brilliant deduction! John asked you to stop pranking people ages ago but you never listen. I’m going to torment you with this for a whole month. You try to take my mobile away and you’ll be sorry. I’ve sent a copy to YOUR BROTHER. One word from me and he gets the automatic go ahead. Let’s just see how far he can spread the video around.” There was nothing Sherlock could do except flounce away in a snit. 

John picked himself up of the floor, wiping tears of mirth off his face. “Well done Greg, well done. I didn’t think you had it in you.” John shook Greg’s hand with a warm smile. “You know this means war.”

“He can throw his worst at me.” said Greg stoutly, “I’m safe from him for now.”

“You have one month Greg, one month. You’ve just declared prank war against Sherlock Mad Scientist Holmes. I hope it was worth it.” John’s smile was warm but there was a tinge of something in it that made the smirk on Greg’s face fall away slowly as the doctor turned on his heel and followed his best friend away.

Greg thought about that. John was Sherlock’s very best friend. They did everything together. Greg suddenly felt weak and wondered how fast Mycroft could delete his copy of the video. He wasn’t taking on John and Sherlock both. He’d end up in hospital dying of some exotic and incurably embarrassing disease! Anxiously he texted Mycroft. “Destroy it. Destroy it now!”

“Why would I wish to do that? – MH” why did the Holmes brothers always sign their text messages? Their names were right there. 

Greg shook his head and texted back. “Sherlock can get his hands on too many diseases. I don’t want to die strangely.”

“I may be able to do you this favor but you would owe me. – MH” Oh god now what! thought Greg in dismay.

“Anything, please just destroy it and TELL SHERLOCK YOU DESTROYED IT.” as an afterthought Greg added “GL”

“Very well, you own me one ‘anything’ and I have of course destroyed the item in question- MH” Greg was relieved. He wasn’t sure he could stand waiting a whole month to die. He texted John and Sherlock together and told them that the video clip and the sound byte were entirely gone. All he got back was one, “Ok” from John, no initials. Greg sighed with relief again. He kept feeling relieved until a long black car slid up to where he was standing on the street.

The door opened and Anthea stepped out, thumbs flying over her mobile. She didn’t even look at Greg, she just said one word, “Anything.” Greg swallowed hard and got the feeling he’d jumped out of the pan and into the fire. The door closed and left nothing behind on the street but fading taillights and the dim remembrance of a high-pitched scream.

**Author's Note:**

> Stayed tuned for more exciting developments coming soon from Dragonlitterchanger! I can't wait to see what happens.


End file.
